Backyards are full of treasures.
Some people swear fairies live in their garden - stray feathers confirming their fleeting visits. Others claim garden gnomes bring luck and fortune to their household – warding off rascal rodents and other evil types. I have even known a lady who places small lanterns named 'little people' amongst her flowerbeds at night – a fiery warm glow of light softens the stark darkness for the roses and tulips as they slumber.
My garden is full of treasures…
These treasures offer delight to several senses. Golden squash emerge from the greenery, plump figs burst from branches, rosemary, basil and chives send aromatic joy to the still ripening cherry tomatoes: eagerly climbing up to the sun, and zucchinis… zucchinis the size of logs rise from the earth.
With a picnic plan that approaching afternoon I found reason to prepare and share my home-grown treasures. I pick a handful of juicy figs, cut bouquets of herb assortments, pinch a couple of squash, send a sad yet understanding ‘it’s not quite time’ nod to the cherry tomatoes (will it ever be?) and finally pluck a giant zucchini from its solid stem.
Inside and exploring fridge contents – 3 eggs, half a jar of marinated fetta, a slab of silken firm tofu and a jar of market fresh capsicum relish. The pantry offers a can of spinach and I’m ready to for a miraculous combination of hearty greens and wholesome white food.
First up – my mega zucchini friend… A knife a bench and a zucchini: this zucchini proves difficult. My memory props up scenes of easily sliced into diced up zucchinis chop chop chop without causing the slightest fuss and here I am struggling to get through the tough irregular flesh and when thankfully I do I am faced with an unfamiliar sight. A soft, fluffy rim encloses a collection of big budding pumpkin like seeds. A thought crosses my uncertain mind…
‘This my dear is what a rotten zucchini looks like’.
Subliminal cries quickly demolish such an illusion.
‘Today you are discovering what real zucchinis look like inside, a zucchini free from pesticide, chemicals and other such manipulative forces. What joy – what good luck! Thankyou garden and oh thankyou beautiful oversized zucchini’. And I begin to carefully slice this marvel of nature.
Now the feast is ready to go underway – the zucchini and squash fry in extra virgin olive oil whilst I beat 3 eggs into the stewed spinach. A layer of spinached egg is placed over a defining zucchini slice base. Tofu segments (each coated with a tasty dollop of capsicum relish) are sealed with another layer of the zucchini/ squash combo. The remaining spinach is poured into the casserole dish, a final stratum of garden vegies and then the finishing touch! Crumbly, oily fetta, garnished with herbs and pepper adds an outer coat. The fetta marinade juice trickles through the layers. The masterpiece is sent to the preheated oven and 50 minutes later glorious aromas taking over the household confirm that lunch is ready!
Eager to sample my creation I cut into the hot flesh and immediately pat myself on the back. Steaming oily fetta, rosemary and capsicum marinated tofu, light airy spinach and home-grown vegetables. What a treat!
Plastic plates, cutlery and cups, an old blanket a bottle of dry ginger – a couple of cheeses a handful of figs. I foil up my miraculous torte and carefully position it on top of the bulging picnic basket. Grab the dog jump in the car and off to the gardens.
A phone call on the way stops me –
‘Hello’
Dad is saying hello.
‘Hello dad’. And then I make the mistake. Oh why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut – I had to ask – I had to brag – To marvel my treasures despite disastrous ends.
‘And so dad, how did you enjoy the zucchini I gave you? I have just made a delicious torte with mine!’
‘Well I meant to tell you – I cut into it but it was completely rotten inside.’
I swear my heart stops beating.
‘It was soft and fluffy inside – zucchinis should be firm all the way through…And it had gone to seed.’
‘I’ve got to go.’ I hang up. My mood is now verging on mania.
Dog on lead, basket in hand I spy friend in distance introducing her canine companion to a couple of other yappers. We meet, find a spot and she unpacks the basket – anticipation glowing in her face…
‘So what have you made here?’ Out comes the drink. ‘Oh I love dry ginger!’
‘Good’. I brace myself. Cheeses follow and then the foil armoured treasure. Time stops still as it unravels –
She looks at the mostly green mass before her. My stomach flips recognising giant green seeds speckled throughout the dish.
‘Um I’m just a tad worried that the zucchini may be…well, rotten’.
She eyes the torte suspiciously – there is something else in her expression; fear? Disgust? And then it hits me.
‘Oops I’m so sorry I’d forgotten – you don’t even like zucchini!’
‘That’s okay’ she says. ‘The fact you suspect it’s rotten worries me more.’
‘Well you can just scrape off the zucchini and here see the tofu, the fetta, the eggs!’ I chomp into a zucchini free bite – it’s delicious yet my stomach whinges. It just doesn’t feel quite right knowing a rotten key ingredient has been systematically positioned and cooked throughout and within the entire dish – ugh and what was that I just tasted – I spit out it my hand a getaway zucchini seed. I stop before the damage goes any further.
We eye the green concoction – gulp – we turn to the dogs, lips furiously licking, lapping up grass, dirt anything, No we couldn’t. I pick up my torte and walk ten good steps to an appropriately green coloured bin. I hold my head high and throw it right into that bin.
On return my friend is searching through the basket. She eyes expiry dates meticulously – the cheeses have collected a little mould it seems – and they weren’t blue to begin. We cut around and into the cheeses and chew carefully, gulping down plastic cups of dry ginger – trying to bury that green ill feeling. Redemption occurs, you’ll be happy to know a little, later in the picnic piece. See ‘A little nip of heaven’.
Treasures if not appropriately treated can harbour horror inside. The moth-eaten silky vintage number in your cupboard, the off coloured French perfume in your bathroom cabinet or the rotten zucchini growing energetically away in your backyard.
Beware of rotten zucchinis – they ruin your appetite somewhat. Pick the treasures while they’re small and humble and enjoy them while you can – before a fear of zucchinis hits you too!
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